Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
