thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
