god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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