Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
