I'm going to jail i love you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
