She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
