i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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