Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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