Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
