At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
