I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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