I'm eating all of the evidence.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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