He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
