Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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