Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
