Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
