hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
