Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
