Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
