did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
