Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
