I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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