ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
