Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
