Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
