I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
