i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
