I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The adults are the big ones right?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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