Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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