At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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