Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
