She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
