Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
