you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
