Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
