He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
