you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
