I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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