no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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