Soap is not a condiment
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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