so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
