I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
17 year olds will be the death of me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
