Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
