so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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