I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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