I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
