I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm always down for nudity.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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