as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
