Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We smell like vodka and hangover
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