Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
